What your kick means to me

The first time I ever felt you kick, I thought it was just gas. And the next, I thought it was just my stomach telling me to eat breakfast. A few more times, I thought it was just my pregnant digestive system acting up. I wish I could’ve been more observant. I wish I could’ve recorded it in my calendar so I could remember that on this day, my little one let me know that he is alive and well.

During the fifth month of the enlargement of my uterus, I began to get annoyed at the movements inside my tummy. I can feel him stretching his limbs and kicking me everywhere without any care if I am getting uncomfortable. I often think to myself how I’d like for this to be over soon and that I cannot wait for the incessant kicking to just stop. And then it got quiet inside of me.

I began to miss that feeling I once thought was so annoying. I often got struck by paranoia because the movements became less frequent and the impact less intense. I immediately regretted thinking about him being still. It was the worst feeling not to feel your baby growing healthy inside you. My views on kicking did a 360.

Now, when I feel any sudden movements in my tummy, I am overjoyed. I swell with pride. I feel like I am becoming more like a mother. I still cannot wait for this to be over soon. I cannot wait to hold my little one, to touch his tiny hands with his tiny fingers. I cannot wait to see my baby for the first time.

Confessions Pt. 2

Telling somebody for the first time what I was going through then was tough. The first time we found out for sure, I still remember so vividly. I was in the bathroom and I peed on the stick. I was waiting for the result to come out and I thought to myself how anticlimactic this was  compared to similar scenes on television. I hate to admit that I was nervous, so I just blamed the air-conditioning for the shivers in my spine.

And there it was. The most horrible lines I have ever seen in my life. I screamed, “positive! Positive”! He knocked on the door and saw it for himself. I immediately went for the bedroom and laid on my back. Tears welled up and trickled down my face. He hugged me and reassured me that everything will be okay. He loved me and he is not going anywhere I am not. It was one of the worst and best days I ever had. It became a fact that I was carrying our child in my womb.